My Father was never there for me during my pregnancy or the birth of my son. He abandoned me.
In my last post I told you that my Father was not only kind to me, but very lovingly and said “I am here for you and we will take care of you and your child. ” I couldn’t believe I was hearing those words from him. This was my Father that had abused me for my entire life. Well I was right not to believe what he said.
Things started to change in ways I did not understand. My Mum told me we had to have a meeting with the birth father and his family to discuss what to do about my pregnancy. I was confused about what she was saying because in my mind, and in my heart, the birth father loved me, and so would love us. But my Mum said we had to go and meet with the family to discuss what to do. What to do about what? I was at a a loss of what was going on. When I reached out to my Mum and Dad there was no answer. In fact …
My own Father did not want any part of it. (so much for caring about me and my child).
The meeting was set though I really did not comprehend what was going on. Why did we have to meet, I mean the birth father and I loved each other and we were having a child, it should be a celebration.
I was wrong.
The birth father (let’s call the birth father “D” to avoid confusion.), his father, his mother, my mother and I met to talk about what to do. We all met at the home of D’s parents. This meeting was to determine what was going to happen with my child. Was it best that D and I marry? I remember thinking why were the adults discussing what D and I should be. He loved me, right?
I remember the ‘adults’ going out to talk, and D leaving the room as well. It was like I was not important to him anymore, nor to anyone else. I felt so alone, a bit lost, so I got up off the chair and I was slowly lying down on the floor as I was feeling so disheartened. But then, while I was lying on the floor on my stomach, I could feel for the first time a lump in my tummy.
That ‘lump’ was my child. There was a life inside of me, my son inside of me. I was so elated. I will never forget that first feeling of my child.
I heard voices coming towards me as I slowly sat up, still feeling such a wonderful experience and not wanting to let it go. But as the “adults” walked back into the room I could feel something was wrong. D’s family announced it was their decision that they did not want him to marry me and raise our child. So his father basically ended the conversation and my Mum and I had no other choice but to leave.
I now found myself alone in the pregnancy, D wanted nothing to do with me or our child.
Not long after that my Mum was informed that D’s possessions had been transferred to his Father. His car, motorcycle, and heaven knows what else was no longer in his name. They thought I was after his money so they made sure nothing was in D’s name. D did not care about me or his child. Everything that was going on said he only cared about the money his father had and his own possessions.
I was at a loss. I could not believe that this wonderful young man I knew, that I was going to go to Woodstock with, that I had created a child with, that I was in love with, would do this to me, to us.
This was only the beginning of how D abandoned me and his child.
With these things going on with his family, and my family, I felt I had to protect me and my son even more. Little did I know how right I was.
