As I said in my last post, I finally realized that IF I wanted to find my son I had to straighten out my life. It was really not a matter of accepting what had been done, my son being giving up for adoption without my consent, it was more that IF I had any hope of finding him I had to get my act together. So either I pick myself up and search for him or I was going to die.
There are many-many years in my search for my son that I cannot give a lot of details. I can tell you I went back to my parents for help, and there was none.
I can tell you that my extended family did not offer any help.
I had to give up the search for my son when my Mum was diagnosed with terminal breast cancer. I had to. My father was abusive, always had been to both me and my Mother — I had to help my Mum — as much as I hated them both for what they did my Mum needed my help.
So my search had to stop when I found out my Mum had cancer when I was 20. I can say it was very hard to process. On the one hand I hated her for not helping me keep my son, on the other hand I knew she needed my help because my father would not be her because he was so abusive.
I won’t go into the details on my Mum’s illness and death. I will just say it stopped the process of trying to find Jamie for a number of years.
After my Mum died I had to leave the city, Toronto. I just could not stay there anymore. I had lost my birth son and lost my Mum. I had to leave…
