I was talking to my birth son about the weekend we spent together when we first met and he said he has no memory of it.
This statement really threw me. This time was so important to me I could never forget one minute. So…
- Does that mean it was just too emotional for him?
- Does that mean it was not important to him?
What you, as the birth mother (or father) feels, and experiences. when meeting your child is different.
It is going to be incredibly more emotional for you than the child (in most cases). Not that your birth child doesn’t feel emotion, of course they do, but their experience is way different than the parent. As the birth parent we have spent years looking and longing for contact — the birth child may not have even considered looking.
Finding your birth child is just the first step. Meeting, of course, is the next. There are so many steps after that and you have to be prepared to feel joy as well as the loss and the pain.
The emotional roller coaster of the loss of a birth child is enormous — the meeting of the birth child and trying to build a relationship, and all the issues that go with that are just as huge but different.
