My birth son has gone quiet, again.
My birth son, Jamie, decided to end his old life and created a new life about a year or so ago. A new life with his wife. His wife that they ended their relationship decades ago but came back together. Now they are enjoying a new beginning.
I am happy for him.
I am happy that he and his wife have found love again.
His new life has nothing to do with me. It was a life he made, major change in his life. He threw away his old life. I was part of what he threw away.
Now there is silence, again.
His silence makes me feel like I can’t breathe. It feels like my heart is stopping. It feels like I am slowly emotionally dying.
I’ve been missing my birth son so much. There has been so little contact for almost a year since he began his new life.
I don’t understand why his new life does not include me. I did not do anything to stop him from his new life, nor did I interfere with what he wanted to do in his new life. I will always support him in anything he wants to do.
I wonder now if I should just close down.
Should I still try to reach my son? Should I still try to be part of his life?
P.S. I wonder if I should still write the book about us? What do you think! If you think I should I hope those who follow me will help me in this process.
Jan
