I always knew that my parents and the doctor who delivered my son had something to do with him being given up for adoption. I felt it in the depth of my soul. After my Mum died I went to my father numerous times over the years to ask for help. He claimed no knowledge of… [Read More]
The Next Step In My Journey To Finding My Birth Son
As I said in my last post, I finally realized that IF I wanted to find my son I had to straighten out my life. It was really not a matter of accepting what had been done, my son being giving up for adoption without my consent, it was more that IF I had any… [Read More]
Dealing With The Loss Of My Birth Son — I Need Help Or I Am Going To Die!
For weeks and weeks, months and months, after my son was given up for adoption I was drowning my pain in alcohol and prescription drugs. Of course I know where the alcohol came from, but no idea where the prescription drugs came from since my doctor kicked me out of his office and told me… [Read More]
My Son Was Taken At Birth — How Can I Get Him Back
What I remember before I left the hospital: 1. Did I want my son circumcised. I said yes because I had read up on the benefits of this being done. It was all part of taking care of the child I expected to take home with me. 2. Did I want to name him. Yes I… [Read More]
Lost Memories Of My Son Being Taken At Birth — Probably For A Reason
I have to tell you that each post I write brings up lost memories, and/or brings up huge amounts of emotion because of what I can remember, and what I cannot remember about my sone being taken away from me and given up for adoption. It is so hard. After my post last night I had… [Read More]
The Loss of My Son Begins
After my son was born I was taken to a ‘recovery room’. I don’t remember much after seeing he was taken after birth. I don’t remember being taken to this room. In this ‘recovery room’ I do remember my Mum being there after waking up — not right away, it was many times later. I remember… [Read More]
What Was My First Clue! — Jumping Ahead
I had a revelation last night in my dreams that not only embarrasses me but makes me feel incredibly stupid. I made the last post just before I went to bed last night and woke up around 3:00 with this vision and thought ‘what was my first clue’. I was dreaming of the day I… [Read More]
No One Around — Pregnant & Lonely
The birth farther was gone, well at least out of my life, though many times I could actually see him out our kitchen window when he road up on his bike at the neighbours home. I do have to say that was difficult. Ok, so he didn’t want to be a parent at that point,… [Read More]
The Joy Of Being Pregnant — Yes It Was Wonderful
As much as finding out that I was pregnant at 17 (17 then is the 13 now — seriously!) I was never unhappy about it. Scared, sure, but never unhappy. The birth-father. Ah yes well once the pregnancy was confirmed I got in touch with the birth-father. To be honest I really don’t remember his… [Read More]
Where Should I Start… How Can I Be Pregnant!
I guess for me the best place to start is when I knew I was pregnant. A bit of background.. Starting when I was 12 years old my parents went on vacation for 2 months. The first year, when I was 12, my sister and brother-in-law stayed with me. When I was 13 I was… [Read More]