I always knew that my parents and the doctor who delivered my son had something to do with him being given up for adoption. I felt it in the depth of my soul.
After my Mum died I went to my father numerous times over the years to ask for help. He claimed no knowledge of it — he also said he would not help me find my birth child. I also sent many letters (all registered) to the doctor who delivered my child to help me find him. He did not respond.
It was a number of years later, when I was living in Vancouver, that I read an article by a reporter who had gone through the same process to find his birth mother. He had written a book on his experience as well. I emailed him and we met.
He gave me a number of ideas to try and find my birth son. He also said to continue sending letters to the doctor who delivered him because it did appear he had something to do with it.
I kept trying.
There were a number of people that came into my life that I shared my loss with. Not everyone — only the people who I believed would understand. One woman turned out to be the most important person in my journey.
I met her at work. She didn’t have my experience, but she so wanted a child, and so was very interested and very supportive. She was also a reporter and knew how to do research and offered to help.
At the point that I had finally given up because my Father would not help me and the doctor never answered me — she was heading back to Toronto to see her Father and offered to do research to see if there was any bith notices done at the time he was given away. She also said to me — and I will never forget this — “contact the doctor again — your birth son is an adult now and has the right to decide if he wants contact with you”.
As much as I thought it was a waste of time to contact the doctor again I decided she was right and wrote him a letter. In this ‘last letter’ (I figured if he did not answer this one I would finally give up) I spoke to him as an adult birth mother, instead of an hysterical young birth mother I was when I first started writing him — plus I said that my birth son was old enough to now decide if he wanted contact.
I hoped my friends research would help — I did not expect anything from the letter I sent the doctor.
A few weeks later I received a letter from the doctor. I was so — so — so — overwhelmed when I received it, and so afraid to read it.
Next — the letter that changed my life!
